Thursday, April 7, 2011

Your versus you're and terns versus turns

I finally decided to make myself a permanent resident of the 801 and get an 801 phone number. Which has been entertaining, because in the recent past, that number belonged to someone else. And occasionally I get calls and messages intended for him. For instance, someone recently sent me this via picture message:

Except the version that was sent to me was animated, so I had to make it PG-13 for the blog.

This morning, I got an intriguing message. Which led to an engaging exchange. Rather than describe it, I'll just publish the dialogue that I had with someone whom we'll call "Leah." Spelling, grammar, and punctuation will be left as written.

Leah: I cant believe you did this to her George..... She loved you so much! Why, after everything you've been thru why?

Leah: YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leah: And i thought you 'Loved her".... you dont know the first meaning of the word love!

Leah: i hope your happy

me: What did I do?

Leah: You know exactly what you did!

me: No, I don't. And I don't know who George is or who you are for that matter. But now I'm curious.

Leah: Your a Liar.

me: After all, it isn't every day I get text messages calling me a bastard.

Leah: You need it more often....

me: Seriously? Do you even know who I am? Because my name isn't George. And as far as I know, you and I have never met.

Leah: Oh you are so full of shit! ok if your name isnt George what is it!

me: Mark. But let's keep this conversation going because my coworkers and I are getting a real kick out of all your accusations.

Leah: yeah thats what i thought!! George your such a freak...

Leah: Whatever.

me: And by the way, it's "you're" and not "your" in this context. Which should be a clue that I'm not really George because based on the conversation so far, I don't think your friends would be smart enough to know that.

Leah: F*** off! Dont ever talk to me or anyone of my family memebrs again!

me: You're the one that started this and now won't leave me alone. Seriously, I'm not George. I've only had this phone number for a month. My guess is all your rage is intended for someone else. Call this number if you want to find out for sure. I'm happy to talk to you.

Leah: I dont believe you!

me: Call me and find out.

Leah: i'll pass, thanx

me: This is awesome. Can't wait to post this conversation on my blog. I've only told you five times my name isn't George, and you don't believe me. OK if I use your real name on the blog post? [Withheld], right?

Leah: Yeah. so what

me: I'll send you a link when it's done. You can figure out from there whether I'm George or not. He sounds like a real winner.

Leah: A real LOSER


Leah: I don't know if you are george or not! if your not then im sorry, if you are then George you need to go to hell!

me: Remember, your is the possessive, while you're is a contraction for "you are." Commit that to memory. It will pay off, I promise. If George would know that and has a masters degree, then I may be George. If he wouldn't know that, then apology accepted.

me: This is still going on my blog, though.

me: Thanks for the entertainment.

me: It's been fun.

Leah: Why would you do that?

me: Do what?

Leah: he messed up my sisters life and i was just really mad!

Leah: i thought this was his number

Leah: She told me not to talk to him or anything, and i did it anyway. i was os mad at him.

me: Sure, I get that. But I told you half a dozen times you had the wrong number, and you called me various names and accused me of lying. I should get something for that, don't you think?

Leah: i really did think this was his number

me: Obviously.

Leah: i know, but thats just the way george i, hes a liar, i didnt know if it was him or not! it sounds like something he would do

me: Tell you what, I won't use your name on the blog if you promise to learn the differences between your and you're; there, they're, and their; and to, too, and two. Deal?

Leah: ummmm, ok

me: Oh and I'll even make sure everyone knows that George is a jerk. I'll even use his last name if you want.

me: You'll have to tell me what it is, though.

Leah: thats a wierd deal, are you obsessed with that kinda stuff or something?

me: No, not obsessed. I just like helping people learn to write intelligently. Most of my success has been predicated on my ability to communicate.

Leah: Oh thats cool

me: Anyway, good luck. Some years ago a guy like George messed up my sister's life. It's worked out just fine over time. Just be there for her when she needs help.

Leah: I will..... no matter what happens :)

Leah: Who Exactly are you??

me: If I help will be "turns" with us too. Quid pro quo.


  1. Awesome. Perfect afternoon coffee break reading.

  2. I read your post, then 8.5 minutes later I see this related link on twitter: Are you one of these facebookers?!?

  3. That sounds like fun. Maybe I should get a new number purely for entertainment purposes.

  4. I had a similar experience a couple months ago. One of the most entertaining evenings I've had in a long time!

  5. Question, ye masterful man of punctuation... since "your" is already possessive, does it need an apostrophe when you add an s? For example: "Is this phone number yours or George's?" or is it "Is this phone number your's or George's?"

    I just read your diagram, which, incidentally, doesn't cover the user of "your." However, it says at the bottom, "when in down don't use an apostrophe," so I suppose that answers the question?

  6. Sorry, "use" not "user" and "doubt" not "down." Geez. Type much? Nope.

  7. Rabid: yours should never have an apostrophe.

    But your question reminded me of this:

    "What is your name?"

    "I am Arthur, king of the Britons."

    "What is your quest?"

    "I seek the holy grail."

    "What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

    "African or European?"

  8. Priceless, real life if better than fiction. Thanks, Leah, and George.

    From a similar experience I have learned to ask how long the new phone number has been unused. You'd think they'd give you the oldest number, but no.

  9. Kris, why get a long out of use phone number and deprive yourself of quality entertainment? I may switch phone numbers in a year just to do it all over again.

  10. So you obviously have Leah's #. That being the case, how about a follow-up post where you pose reader questions? Here are a few from me:

    1)What did George do to Leah's sister?

    2)What has George "been through" as Leah put it?

    3)Is Leah's sister the girl in the animated bikini-picture message? (And if so, did George send it to you?)

  11. yur goin too hell fer shure.

  12. I wish she would've given you a call, did you send her a link to the blog?

  13. Yeah, I sent her a link. Haven't heard anything back yet, though. If I do, I'll ask the questions that Watcher asked.

  14. just one question: what is it like inside your head?