In 2007, I rode Lotoja for the first time. The guys who raced it were on another level, or so I thought. After conquering the distance, I wanted to go faster. To go faster, I needed faster people to ride with. So my brother and I signed up as Cat. 5 annual license holders. We went faster. We wanted to go faster still, so we signed up as Cat. 4 annual license holders. Problem was, we weren't Cat. 4s yet, so we needed to race enough to get the upgrade. Steve finished on the podium but before that happened, we discovered there were a lot more worthwhile races out there than just Lotoja. Last year he convinced me we should race to win not just our category but the whole thing. I finished on the podium. Had a few things played out just a little differently, either one of us could have won. And having tasted that, if I race again, I want to race to win.
Problem is, Steve won't be racing this year. This was going to be our fifth year. We'd get out Lotoja 1000 and I'd be done with the race (not sure about Steve). Without Steve, I'm having a hard time mustering the motivation to race. My fitness is good. I think I could be competitive, if I could just get my head in a place where I want to compete. It's not, nor am I sure it will be.