Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Size 6 bikini

Imagine you’re a woman. I say imagine, but if you’re one of the five or six women who read this blog, you can skip the imagine part. Now imagine that it’s February, and you’re planning a beach vacation for the summer.

To prepare for the beach vacation, you go out and buy a size 6 bikini*. Except you don’t try it on because, um, you aren’t a size 6 and don’t want to irreparably damage the suit. And you aren’t a size 6 because you’ve spent December and January eating chocolate chip cookies and pecan pie. To the point that when you purchase said bikini, the clerk asks if you want it gift wrapped.

But you fully expect that by the time the vacation rolls around in the summer, you won’t just be able to cram your gigantic butt into the bikini, but actually wear it well.

Anybody know anyone who would do something like that?

Just curious, because I got my new team kit today. When I ordered it in February, Ty at Revolution took one look at my order form and then another look at me and didn’t say anything, but I could more or less tell what he was thinking.

If you see me at the crit tonight, and I’m not in Revolution team colors, you know why.

*For those disappointed that I did not include photos with this post, please realize that a gratuitous increase in traffic from featuring such a photo was not worth offending my dear wife. I’m sure you understand.

12 comments:

  1. you have to wear it the shorts are so, um, er, accentuating.

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  2. Especially when you stand on top of the podium and raise your arms in the air. At least the front panel isn't white.

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  3. Great post. I sold a really nice Hincapie kit a couple of years ago because I had similar plans...only they didn't work out.

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  4. give it up. buy the fat suit.

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  5. or just wear plaid shorts.:)

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  6. Wait...are you saying you bought a size 6 bikini to bike in?...dude, that's messed up. Cyclocross season is like 6 months away.

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  7. Ouch, reality can bite hard.

    Some of my jerseys are short than others such that when I raise my arms they reveal my belly roll. I really should be wearing bib shorts now.

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  8. The latest and greatest in the triathlon world the last few years is the compression garments - which I think is essentially the same as ordering a size to small so it fits real tight - theory is it creates extra muscle support, thereby increasing endurance capacity. Break out the new duds in the name of being on the cutting edge - it's a compression kit.

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  9. it's probably just water weight. Give it a day or two.

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