Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Awesome

Today’s post is kind of a hodge-podge, with the unifying theme being the awesome things I’ve seen on my way to work this week.

The first awesome thing is the inversion layer yesterday morning (Dug stole some of my thunder here, but I’m mentioning it anyway). I pulled out of my driveway, stopped, and grabbed my sunglasses from my bag because the sun was so bright at my house. I took them off as soon as I got to about 5300 feet.

Shortly after stopping for a picture of the inversion, I stopped again, this time because the elk herd I mentioned a couple weeks ago was making its way along the side of the road. The bull had already come and gone from sight, but I got a shot of these cows. How awesome is that to see elk on the way to work?

The third awesome thing was at my kids’ school. They had a Christmas program, so I went and watched that before I went to work. Of course, visits to my kids’ school mean I’ll see stripper moms. Initially, I didn’t notice any good examples. It’s cold, and staying warm necessitates covering flesh. But as the program progressed, I noticed a few stalwarts, and they were exceptional.

First was the mom who seemed to shake her business at any opportunity while she walked around with a fairly tight, fairly thin sweater and no bra. Did I mention that it’s cold? Yeah, it was like a turkey timer, or rather two of them, but cold sensitive instead of hot.

Next was the first of its kind I’ve seen: the stripper Grandma. She was clearly old enough to be the grandma but wasn’t dressed like one. Tight pants, tight shirt, chemically-treated hair, and quite possibly an eating disorder. I’ll bet she makes quite a stir at the senior citizen center.

Finally, there was the mom who proved you can strut your stuff no matter the temperature. Bleach blonde hair (the carpet clearly did not match the drapes unless she treated that too), big earrings hanging down to her shoulders, leather jacket, tight leather pants, and the coup de grace, a red shirt that was so small, the fabric was strained to nearly bursting where it crossed her nipples.

My only regret is that I didn’t get a decent picture. Not for lack of trying, though. Rachel held Keiki, and I pretended to take cell phone pictures of her while really trying to get the stripper mom in the background. Unfortunately, none of them turned out.

The last awesome thing to happen to me was on my way in to work. It started snowing during the program, so the roads were wet and slick. You’d think that by now most people in Utah would get wise to the fact that snow tires are worthwhile. Of course even with snow tires, people still wouldn’t know how to drive. There were four slide-offs or accidents between point of the mountain and downtown. I didn’t get to the office until almost noon. Can’t wait for the drive home—it’s going to be awesome.

5 comments:

  1. I love inversions from above, and envy you your location big time during them. They're just the most beautiful thing to look down upon.

    (Tell me again why I bought my house down in the valley?)

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  2. Well that and the stripper momies are fun to look at too. Draper seems to have lots of them. If you ever get a chance a truely amazing gathering happens most week days at about 10am at the Treehouse. Sort of like seeing a herd of Elk except the cows are the trolphies not the bucks. Insert rack comment here.

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  3. Sounds like you need to pay a little more attention to the program ("Hey dad, eyes up here"). Eventually your wife will get wise to the "I am just looking (and taking pictures) so I can make fun of it with you and my blog readers" excuse. :)

    As for where you live, I just have to keep reminding myself that my commute is only 15-20 minutes (or 45 minutes by bike, or 90 minutes by trail), otherwise, I get jealous.

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