Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Mostly dead

"He's dead. He can't talk."

"Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do."

"What's that?"

"Go through his clothes and look for loose change"

When Rachel and I first got married, whenever I got sick, I would pretty much just go to bed and ask not to be bothered for a few days. I told her to tell everyone I was mostly dead. Unfortunately, with kids and jobs that have real deadlines, such luxuries are no longer affordable.

So as much as I'd like to be mostly dead and just lay in bed until Miracle Max's pill takes effect, I can't. I'm hereby revising my self assessment and changing the rating from "Mostly Dead" to "Decroded Piece of Crap."

At least it happened during what is perhaps the worst week for skiing all season.