Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Hit and run

Descartes's famous assertion "I think, therefore I am" is a recognition that all perception is colored by perspective, that external stimuli are subject to individual interpretation, that, indeed, the only thing that can be known, that is real, is that right now, at this moment, I am thinking, therefore I must be real. Everything around me could be a trick or a figment of my imagination, but the fact that I am thinking proves that I exist. I think, therefore, I am.

In many ways blogs are the same way. My blog is a record of the world as I see it. By its very nature, it's a subjective account of the people, experiences, and things I write about as I perceive them and only ever offers one perspective. But what account of anything is any different?

I understand that not everyone will agree with my portrayal of the world. In fact I don't expect them to. A good-natured--or even a heated--give and take is an opportunity for both sides to exchange ideas and learn from one another. I'm not above changing my mind and often have after such a discussion. But if one is to engage in such a discourse, one should be willing to stand behind what is said.

While I don't explicitly share my identity on this blog, it wouldn't take a smart person more than two minutes to figure out my full name and where I live based on nothing more than race results. Which is why I get such a kick out of anonymous commenters who openly challenge what I've said or try to insult me, but never seem to be willing to say who they are or respond beyond the initial barb. Here are a few of my favorites--comments are unedited, as are my responses:

From "The best wife in the world", anonymous wrote:
how do you know she doesn't "like" it when you gone. Never seen a woman who "really" likes her husband, "love" to have him gone "that" much. I'm just saying.

My response:
Anonymous--if you're going to make insinuating comments, at least sack up and put your name next to them. Otherwise you're just another creepy, pathetic, voyeuristic loser.

Rachel's response:
Anonymous - You're completely wrong. My guess is you're not in a happy relationship, though, so I'll leave you alone.

From the satirical "You should at least look good", the anonymous "HairyBaggyRoadie" said:

Really? You are that concerned about how you look that you worry and wonder what others think? You obviously suck on your bike therefor you concern yourself with things fashion rather than sucking it up and whipping your fat ass into shape. When I pass you pass you with hairy legs in baggies on my roadie I'll do my best to take note at what your fat ass is wearing.

Do you admire your outfit in the mirror before each ride? Do you lay your ride outfit out on the floor in the shape of a person the night before, like a 12 year old girl? Just askin....

My response:

Bring it. If you're a local, name the time and place. Because I really do suck. I'm terribly slow and unbelievably fat. You should have a field day.

And from just this week in "Group dynamics", we have not one, but two ever-courageous anonymous commenters:

Sounds like a good race...The account of the break seems as far off as uncle Rico's story about throwing the ball over the mountain. Will and Alex did work hard. However, no harder the Simply Mac (me) or Biker's Edge (not cyclesmith). If I am not mistaken, when you see a pack 1/2 a mile back, it makes sense to let them catch you and sit in to recover. No one made a move, so at 1 mile we decide to do a big lead out for our strongest guy early. Call it what you will, but I think fitness and at least some skill were contributors. "The harder you work, the luckier you are"


I agree with anonymous above. It seems to me that no one has a good account of who worked and how hard unless you were actually in the breakaway pack and since he was, I tend to believe more his account of the story. What a lame excuse to sit back and ditch others efforts and put them down to try to make your not-so-victory seem justified. Where's the sportsmanship? Just say you had an off day or maybe made some wrong calls that day!

My response:

Anon 1 and Anon 2: All I had was hearsay on what was going on in the break. I was told 2 of 4 were working. If that wasn't the case, fair enough. But I don't know for sure what was going on in the break any more than you knew what was going on in the pack chasing it. Next time put a name with your comment, though.

Shockingly, none of these anonymous commenters has ever returned to make a follow-up comment. Nor has one of them ever put a name next to it. Who's the Uncle Rico now? I stand by what I say. If I'm wrong, I'll admit it. But to prevent the hit-and-run comments, I've disabled anonymous commenting. Hope nobody's disappointed. Actually, what am I saying? I'm disappointed. Because comments like these are high-quality entertainment. Maybe I'll turn anonymous comments back on and hope it keeps coming.


  1. Those were all from me.


    ha ha ha ha ha!

  2. you think you've got it bad. imagine how your life would be if you were a beloved internet celebrity!!!

  3. Well, I guess I won't be able to comment anymore.

    Ha ha. My only anonymous comment has been the holiday cheer comment. :) But you already knew that.

  4. That Anon guy is funny. You should let him post. I think he has multiple personalities.

  5. Although I like your comment responses to the anonymous commenters, please remember that it is always difficult to reason with the unreasonable. You will lose to the haters every time; i.e. your choice to disable anonymous comments seems very wise to me.

    On another note, I haven't been bitten by the anonymous commenters yet. Perhaps because my blog is not widely read!

  6. Mark,

    You post to many pictures of yourself. Of course they put anon. Their afraid of your Bi's and Tri's. Not to mention your quads.

    Heck it took me 15 minutes to work up the nerve to leave this comment.

  7. "Bring it. If you're a local, name the time and place. Because I really do suck. I'm terribly slow and unbelievably fat. You should have a field day."

    I'd pay money to see this head to head race. If he ever does turn up you'll have to let us know.

  8. From now on, when your blog comes up in conversation, I'm going to be like, "Oh yeah, I've been reading SBJ since waaay back, like even before he had anonymous stalkers..."

    If it makes you feel any better, my rudest commenters have not been anon- like the guy who told me to stop trying to be funny and just stick to facts, since "I come here for enlightenment, not for laughs"...